I first came across Dr. Shefali Tsabary, best known for her provocative appearances on Oprah, on several favorite podcasts including The School of Greatness and Impact Theory. But it wasn’t until I saw her live at the 2018 Summit of Greatness that I was blown away and completely hooked! In my opinion, she’s one of the most paradigm-shifting voices on self-awareness and human behavior I’ve encountered.
Dr. Shefali at the 2018 Summit of Greatness
Starting March 6th, 2019, Dr. Shefali is offering a new course on conscious relationships called Free To Be. Shefali believes that our relationships are mirrors to our inner selves. We attract just the right people into our lives to ignite self-work and evolution. But because we often look to relationships for social status, for validation, and to make us feel whole/complete, when the relationship inevitably ends we feel empty. The solution? Dr. Shefali’s paradigm-shifting approach that doesn’t look to the outer or to the other to meet our needs but rather to the self.
Have you ever wondered what it is that makes us feel romantic love with someone or feel loved? Dr. Shefali says it’s the re-creation of old patterns from our childhoods. Specifically, the other person evokes a familiar template from our childhood experiences and in that moment, we either use the relationship to awaken to the pattern, decode it, and heal ourselves or we numb out with alcohol, distractions, or avoidance— whatever’s our drug of choice so that we don’t have to expose our wounds. Yet in doing so, we stay blind to who it is we are. Our relationships, she says, are calls for us to wake up to who we truly are. Dr. Shefali and I cover these topics and everything from co-creative responsibility in infidelity and how our childhood experiences shape our adult choices/reactions to the constructs of marriage, and (most provocative) why no one can truly betray you in our February 2019 interview, below.
Click HERE to watch the interview.
*(6:45) Why pain alone can lead to our awakening
*(6:55) Where the masks we wear (the perfectionist, the athlete, the victim, the over-achiever) originate from and why we bolt or sabotage when we feel truly seen in relationships
*(9:53) The reason we stay stuck in our lives, repeating patterns, and feeling victimized and wounded by them
*(10:50) The difference between owning our part versus letting the other person off the hook
*(12:05) Why betrayal is a blessing
*(12:45) Why Shefali believes the construct of marriage is flawed and how to design more conscious unions
*(17:10) Shefali’s advice to singles about dating
*(18:35) The real purpose of relationships
*(18:45) Why so many people don’t show up authentically in their relationships
*(21:00) Why no one can betray you
*(23:25) Why we stay so long in relationships and situations that aren’t serving us
*(24:55) Why so many people choose to cheat or enter into an affair rather than having a conversation with their partner first
*(25:35) Dr. Shefali’s new course starting March 6th on Conscious Relationships
Want more? Here’s the link to learn more about Dr. Shefali’s 20-week Free To Be online relationship course.