Mike Thomas has over 20 years of experience working with groups and individuals using a trauma-informed, somatic approach that emphasizes nervous system regulation techniques to deepen self-awareness and connection. Join Mike and Leah for a deep dive into the hidden dynamics that profoundly shape our ability to connect in romantic relationships.
For more on this topic, check out our conversation with Thais Gibson on Attachment Theory.
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Honored to sit down with Dr. Nikki to share about my poly journey. For me, choosing poly is about:
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In this candid conversation, Dr. Joli and Ken Hamilton sat down with Leah to talk through how common non-monogamy norms like having rules, practicing hierarchy, requiring permission-granting before physical intimacy, exercising veto power, and don’t ask don’t tell policies can feel like for the third person entering into an existing couple’s dynamic. Leah shared some of her personal experiences with the above and how they have shaped the types of open relationships she now explores.
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Dr. Joli Hamilton is a certified sex educator who’s known for her TEDx talk on navigating jealousy in polyamorous relationships. She’s also the co-host of the podcast Project Relationship, along with her husband Ken Hamilton. More on Dr. Joli and her podcast at: https://open.spotify.com/show/35kIc9nIONuelMHetrQvWj
Joli sat down with Leah to discuss the steps couples can take before opening up their relationship, why relationship agreements are critical in all relationships- monogamous and consensually non-monogamous, the notion of poly aftercare, and why jealousy is a good thing.
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Dr. Shefali Tsabary is one of the most paradigm-shifting, provocative voices on self-awareness, growth, and awakening. Join the therapist whom Oprah lauded as “revolutionary” for a deep dive into conscious relationships and deconstructing the cultural conditioning that traps us in inauthenticity.
More on Dr. Shefali and her newest book, A Radical Awakening, at: https://www.aradicalawakening.com/
Dr. David J. Ley is a clinical psychologist and the author of 3 books including The Myth of Sex Addiction and Insatiable Wives, which explores hotwifing and cuckholding.
Dr. Ley sat down with Leah to explore:
REFERENCED
“If there is shame, and I promise you there always is, that’s where you plant your flag and that’s where you start to do the work. Shame is the secret wellspring from which our problems flow.” ~David Ley, Author of “The Myth of Sex Addiction”
More at: https://www.davidleyphd.com/
Dedeker Winston is the host and producer of one of the longest-running and most popular polyamory podcasts, Multiamory. She’s also the author of The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love.
Dedeker sat down with Leah and members of the Esther Perel Discussion Group for a conversation about open relationships including hierarchy and couple’s privilege and designing conscious relationships that meet your needs.
REFERENCED
“Open relationships make a lot of sense but they’re not for everybody- they demand a massive amount of egalitarianism. They require two people who are sovereign, who can choose for themselves and not one person imposing it on the other. Cheating happens all the time in open relationships. People will always cross boundaries. Transgression seems to be part of relationships period. People always need to negotiate boundaries in both monogamous and open relationships. Everything needs to be negotiated within the couple. Consensual non-monogamy is not a protection device against transgression. It’s a philosophy, a way of thinking about sexuality, freedom and the centrality of the individual within a relationship.“ ~Esther Perel
More on Dedeker at:
What’s it like to be the third person entering into an existing couple’s dynamic in ethical non-monogamy?
I practice solo polyamory and am often in this position. I was invited to share in the video above how common non-monogamy norms like having rules, practicing hierarchy, cutting off contact, and exercising veto power can feel for a third.
I also shared some of my personal experiences with the above and how they’ve shaped the types of polyamorous relationships I now explore.
Jessica Fern is a polyamorous psychotherapist. Her ground-breaking new book, Polysecure, looks at how attachment theory shapes and plays out in non-monogamous relationships.
Jessica joined Leah for a conversation about her book, attachment theory, and polyamory.
REFERENCED
“Both monogamy and hierarchical polyamory utilize external structures to create a feeling of security in a relationship, but they don’t necessarily address the internal secure functioning of the relationship.” ~Jessica Fern
The HEART acronym depicts the specific ways you can create a safe haven and a secure base in your relationships:
H: Here (being here and present with me)
E: Expressed Delight
A: Attunement
R: Rituals & Routines
T: Turning Towards after Conflict
A quick-reference tool to communicate how you practice polyamory with potential partners, and learn how they practice as well:
More on Jessica and Polysecure at: https://www.jessicafern.com/
LEAH MARSHALL 