Loved this exploration with Daniel Mackenzie on why men and women both crave and repudiate male vulnerability.
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Daniel Mackenzie is an author, counselor, and the host of Omega Male. Daniel and I sat down to explore the limitations on male vulnerability due to patriarchy and the cultural scripts conscious men are courageously breaking free from.
“In many ways, it’s hard to know what it means to be a man these days. Vulnerability is seen as weakness and feminine, it’s also seen as a loss of power or control. Under patriarchy, you can be connected or powerful but you can’t be both. Boys are taught at a young age what emotions are acceptable, meaning masculine, and which show weakness and are associated with femininity. The code of masculinity— stoicism, strength, power, & aggression— not just men internalize it, women too. Under this code, men are allowed 2 feelings only, anger and lust. Men are taught to hide, stuff down, and bury their vulnerable emotions. Women say, “I want him in touch with his emotions… but not so much so that he crumbles in front of me. I want him vulnerable but I don’t want to feel like I need to take care of or be strong for him. You’ll never hear someone say, “Be a woman” or, “Woman up.” Femininity doesn’t need to be earned. Masculinity must be constantly proven and can be instantly stripped away.” ~Esther Perel
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